Champions

MPS Newton 4 - 1 Lowell Alligators

We started our second-to-last game against Lowell needing just one more win to be crowned division champions. After a shaky start we gathered some steam and pinned Lowell into their own half, but their 'keeper kept us at bay. The frustration mounted in the second half until an unusual goal got us on track for a division-winning result.

During the first ten or fifteen minutes we were looking a little nervous and our defence seemed leaky. More than once a player was moving unchallenged towards goal with a man free to pass to - a better opposition might have punished us in the opening stages. Fortunately, Mike "Safe Hands" Orscheln was as solid as ever in goal when there was a threat - not easy in the early stages, with the slick ball and slippery surface.

There was one bizarre incident early on. Lowell were lining up to take a throw-in when one of their players collapsed, writhing and yelling just outside our penalty area. Had he been blinded by the sun's reflection off Kirk's shiny boots? No, Kirk had merely trodden on his foot. Eventually realising he wasn't going to get a free kick, he hobbled of the pitch, to continue his scheming on the sideline.

We slowly began to take control of the game and created some good chances during a strong spell in the middle of the half, but were repeatedly denied by some good goalkeeping. Peter, Joe, Christer and Andy all had good chances blocked, and Karsten headed narrowly wide.

For the last ten minutes of the first half we once again allowed Lowell too much space and they looked dangerous coming in from the wings. This continued into the early part of the second half, when we were passing badly and giving the ball away cheaply. The tide began to turn after about 15 minutes when a Lowell forward collected a good pass into our penalty area. With the goal at his mercy, he wound up for a shot but had the ball swept off his boot by the sprinting Mike Altchek.

We then began to turn the screws and it seemed only a matter of time until we scored. Bardot had a great chance when he burst into the penalty area on the right, but his powerful dipping drive hit the crossbar.

The breakthrough came with a move of perfect simplicity that ended in the least conventional goal of the season. The ball was played across the midfield from left to right, then up to right wing to Andy, whose dipping cross landed just in front of Karsten on edge of the six yard box. Scoffing at the thought of playing the easy shot, he managed to chest the ball into the goal after it had bounced up to knee height.

The opening goal eased the pressure and we started putting together more fluid moves. Our second goal also had a slightly unusual flavour. Andy played the ball into the right corner for Ivan, and his far-post cross took a couple of deflections and looked to be heading out of play. While the Lowell defence waited for the whistle, Tom managed to pull the ball back from the bye-line to Karsten, who casually popped it into the net from a tight angle a couple of yards out.

Peter had already tried a couple of looping cross-field passes, and his third was the worst of all - as a pass. As a shot on goal from the right, it had that element of surprise that caught the otherwise excellent goalkeeper off guard, and he could only flounder backwards and watch the ball drop behind him into the left corner of the goal.

With five minutes left, Bardot set up Victor for our fourth goal. He made some space on the right, rounded a defender, and laid off a simple three yard pass that Victor hit first time into the far corner.

With five seconds left we conceded the softest penalty of the season. That same player who had been crying about his foot early in the game challenged Mike A for the ball on the edge of our penalty area. Realising he had no chance in this competition, he clicked his heels together, made a wish and did the full dying swan act just inside the area. The referee sympathetically pointed to the spot and Mike O had no chance as the penalty was struck to his right. The Lowell crowd went wild.

Five seconds later the real celebrations could begin. This had been a game with some hairy moments, where we alternated between sweeping moves that tore the Lowell defence apart and creeping moves that tore our defence apart. But there's the sign of a good team again - play well and win, play badly and still win. Here somes Division 2.

We retired to Bardot's garden for a barbecue, refreshments and detailed analysis of the game, season and international beers.

Squad: Mike O, Kirk, John, Mike A, Tim R, Andy, Karsten, Ivan, Joe, Pap, Steve G, Tim T, Tom, Victor, Bardot, Christer
Selector-in-chief: Samuel
Grillmeister: Bardot